Category Archives: Social Networking
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When Being In Love Goes Wrong “Over-Connected
“Hey baby, I tweeted you today. Did you get my text? I called you and left a voicemail, you didn’t get it? I called you at 8 why didn’t you call me back ‘til 10? I see u read my BBM, but no response? Did my e-mail go thru? Who? What? When? Where? And HOW!?”
–The Current State Of Our Relationships
Love is difficult; it’s perhaps the hardest, yet simplest thing to deal with in life. Technology has made it easier to contact your boo to find out how he or she is doing, but at the same time it has ruined love and/or the trust associated with it. It’s very hard to understand why your lover isn’t instantly responding to your messages, especially since we have several ways to communicate. Right?
We live in a world of instant gratification; unfortunately this has altered what we expect in our love lives. We can Google anything at anytime and get an answer instantly, we want our mate to be just as accessible. The thought of them not responding immediately is a major problem in some relationships. We often question a missed or “delayed” communication response because of the convenience of technology and its instant gratification that we’ve grown accustomed to.
Perhaps we grow tired of one another easier because of the over access we have to each other. It doesn’t matter how interesting a person is, constant contact all day may dim the light of interest.
The over-access of communication is a gift and a curse. Many of us cannot deal with the fact that our lover has another life outside of the one you’ve built together. Healthy relationships require a healthy amount of space. In any relationship “me” time is needed.
If you call, text, email, and/or BBM your boo & he or she doesn’t respond immediately do not call/text/email/BBM again asking why there was no response. About 40 years ago a couple of geniuses invented something called CALLER ID, which shows us who called, when they called and how many times they called. Now we have text/email/BBM, which until it is checked will be shown as a new message. Don’t stress yourself with the gift and the curse of being over-connected; you may never know why he or she isn’t replying back instantly. The reason may be valid, most times bullsh*t, but either way, don’t over-access your relationship then question its very existence.
Many things separate social networking sites like myspace and facebook apart from twitter. On Twitter we’re forced to view opinions and/or ideas we
1. sometime don’t care a bout
2. don’t always agree with and
3. don’t wish to see.
Between RTs , inconsistent tweople, party promotions and the ever present “yo listen to my song” tweets many have just resorted to scrolling right past your “epic” tweet or something you felt was important to read.
Ever see a question tweeted and/or statement then see them RT they self a few minutes later? Or see them say, “So nobody goin’ answer me huh?” That’s someone who doesn’t realize that they’ve just been buried alive by the bulk of nonsense on a “friend’s” timeline.
The problem with following people based on one day of agreeing with them is that we all have millions of different ideas, if someone tweets something you agree with on a Tuesday, you follow them, but on that Wednesday they start talking about some ol’ other stuff that you don’t agree with, without even realizing it most times you question them “This can’t be the same person, how could he/she say this!?” We grow attachments to the people we follow and expect certain things from them forgetting that we’re all different from day to day.
A large percentage of time on twitter is spent scrolling. Gurantee you most of your tweets are not getting the attention it deserves because of this. Your good thoughts and/or opinions get buried alive. Your good words may be falling on death ears. Try not to get buried alive.
Digital depression is defined as, a unknowing reality of what is real in the social networking community.
“…I’m apart of the In-crowd! My mentions be rocking! My friends loves what I tweet. They RT everything I say! Plus the wavy light skin girls is loving me now! …I got cool friends! Right? I Do Right, These are my friends…Right?” -Random Delusional Twitter Soul
Social networking has caused a serious delusion in social skills. Daily we see people step full beyond their area of expertise or modify their character just to appease the people they have following them…err I mean “friends.” Somewhere twitter has confused some to who or what reality is. Many people truly believe the hundreds sometime thousands of people following them are friends and support anything they’re doing. There are many people that truly believe people care about what they’re saying or tweeting. The reality of twitter is a large percentage of follows are courtesy follows, most people follow you because you followed them, some follow just because and others just followed for no reason. With the brilliant app option of mute many people are truly stuck in the muted twilight zone, the courtesy follow has claimed their existence without them even knowing it.
The courtesy follow does exist. Some cannot differentiate what is real and what is ‘twitter,’ when you sign on your logging into a parrelel world filled with people you may meet one day, some you may never see in real life and people who do not care to meet or see you. The unreal realm of twitter has created social monsters and help develop character for most, wheter it for the better or most time worst.
Social networking tricks such as #teamfollowback has a large group of otherwise ‘uncool’ people believing the thousands following them are true friends. Based on follower numbers many have tried things they otherwise wouldn’t because they believe the hype of their follower numbers. Party promoters born party promoters failed. Rap career started rap career dead. The problem with #teamfollowback is that after a while people scroll pass your name, your numbers are so high no one cares what your saying.
Digital depression is real, ever be on all day then sign out? Doesn’t it feel like something is off or something is missing? Now magnify that into a person who believes their followers are real life numbers of who is their friend. So are you stasified with your followers…err I mean “friends?”
A while ago, a young Harlem dude lost his life after a back and fourth argument via twitter turned real. Stemming from something that wouldn’t bother most people, something that could have easily been ignored or disregarded.
The problem with most people is that they dismiss everything to not be held accountable for anything. Twitter possesses one of the worlds most deadly weapons ever created. Way before guns, knives or even violence; words was and still is the most powerful tool we all possess to hurt others.
Your words may not penetrate everyone’s natural defenses, but some have a lower tolerance than others. Some people are set off from the most serious of things to most minor, consisting of topics varying from family to street creditability all the way to materialistic things, such as who has more money or who crew is better. You never know who is serious, who is easily pushed to that point or who is really “about that life,” so is it just twitter?
A high percentage of real life beefs are now started and is fueled by “just twitter.” The constant interaction with people you may dislike is too overwhelming for some. The ever-constant use of the word now made famously by twitter “subliminal” and indirect shots is not handled well by most people. With the urge to’ keep it real’ and not look like a sucker many spill they problems from a social site onto the streets.
Twitter is real. Most dismiss it as “just twitter” to justify the things they say. Depending on who you follow will give a different definition to “it’s just twitter” but for the small percentage of people who can’t differentiate the entertainment of twitter from the streets it ain’t just twitter. Real problems arise from twitter because it is wheeled by real people; some who can’t handle seeing their name tweeted with a derogatory statement after, it just simply boils their blood.
Be careful of what you say.
“Yooooo what’s good!? Follow me I’m on twitter now! I sent you a request what’s wrong? Why you aint follow back!? Follow Me! Follow Me! Follow Me!” –Anonymous Tweople
What the hell happened? How the hell did we get here? If myspace™ announced ignorance twitter™ defined it. All day, everyday, all night, every night we read each other’s thoughts, or what some think is a thought as we all tweet our life away. Twitter isn’t for everyone sadly anyone with a email address can sign up. The idea of what twitter is or what it can be has been long gone dead. We all pretend to understand what the network is truly meant for only turning it into a personal diary almost filled with too much information & things someone should never tweet.
People who use twitter for the wrong thingsusually lead to them getting the wrong results, which leads them to hate everything about it. We announce our twitter “deletion” like it’s an event, yell “I’m Back!” when we realize it was stupid to leave and complain everyday about being on twitter while on twitter. A lot of us ask for a follow yet many are saying nothing worthy of one. To many of us, twitter is merely a means to pass the time, to others it’s a way to express their words/views & have their voice be heard, to a select few its a way to expand business & truly network but to most twitter it’s a means to increase populatirity through ignorance & seemingly harmless shit talking.
Subconsciously we all have judged our friends and/or aquitances from their tweets. We’ve all seen friendships blossom, play out & end, on & because of twitter. It truly is difficult to follow a friend & see them tweet things you don’t agree with without feeling a way, thus, many of us have distance ourself from a close friend because of it.
So the next time someone ask you “follow me” ask them where are they leading you to, because twitter has made it far to easy to become a follower!
10 Warning Signs That You’ll Be Lonely Forever. BEWARE.
Being Lonely Has NOTHING To Do With Being Alone Or Being Single. Being Lonely Is A State Of Mind. Being In A Relationship Will Never Fulfill You, You Have To Be Happy With Yourself Before You Can Be Happy Doing Anything Else. Females Usually Commit Lonely Suicide & Have Plenty Warning Signs That A lonely Life Awaits Them…
Here Are 10 Signs Not In Any Order, If You Find Yourself Doing More Than One Of These Things Check Yaself & Rethink What You’re Doing.
1. Beware Of Celebrity Crushes
Ladies Often Tweet, Joke, Etc. Regarding The Subject Matter Of Their Celebrity “Boo.” Unknowingly To Many Females (& Vice Versa) Men (& Most Women) Do Not Care To Hear This. Celebs Are “Regular” People, Being On TV Is The Difference From Them Not Being “Normal.”
Be Careful, When You Promote Your Love For A Celeb To Some Men What Your Basically Saying Is “I’m With You Cuz I Can’t Have Him.” Yes Really.
Many Women Will Say, “Oh Please That Ain’t True” But Ask Yaself This, If It Ain’t True Why Say It? Suppose Your Walking Down The Block With Your Real Life Boo & Your Celeb Boo Walks Up, Says Come With Me? Will You Go? Most Probably Will, Some Won’t, But Actually How Is Your Real Boo Supposed To Feel? You’re Telling Him Your Attracted To Another Male & He Shouldn’t Feel A Way? Why? Because That Man Is On “TV”?
2. “…Oh I Don’t Do That”
Women Often Are Single NOT By Choice, Like Most Proclaim, But By Force. Having A Longer List Of Things They Won’t Do Rather Than What They’ll Try Many Have Already Given Themselves The Long Kiss Of Loneliness. Men Are Not Mind Readers & Our Assumptions Are Mostly Always Wrong. Rather Than Leaving Us In The Dark By Not Speaking Up Throw Us A Bone & Not A Hint.
Women Have All This “I Do’s & I Dont’s” Not Realizing That This Is What’s Making Them Miserable. Men Have A Short Attention Span For What We Consider Unnecessary & Would Rather Be Alone, Lonely & Miserable Than Deal With What You Won’t Do.
3. You Do NOT Think Like A Man
The First Step To Realizing A Problem Is Admitting You Have One. Ladies Cannot & Will Not Ever Be Able To Think Like A Man. Women Are Emotional, Men Are Logically (Most Times) & Trying To Think Logically With An Emotional Thought Process Will Forever Leave You Baffled. Rather Than Try To Think Like A Man How Bout You Attempt To Understand Him?
Women Give The Thought Process Of A Man FAR Too Much Credit. In A Woman’s Eye A Man Has This GRAND Scheme Of A Lie Or How He Will Get Over Only To Later Realize Most Men Cannot Think That Far Ahead To Put These Scheme’s Together. (See Warning Sign Number 6)
4. Time Spent…
To Have A Healthy Relationship You Need Time Together, As Well As, Time Apart. Spending Every Moment Together Is Unhealthy, Not Spending Enough Time Is Unreal.
We Must Respect Each Other’s Time Or Nothing Will Ever Work. Women Don’t Want Men Who Aren’t Doing Anything With Themselves Yet Many Cannot Deal With Those Who Are. Sacrifice Is A Real Word. In Order For The Future To Be Care Free Your Boo Must Go Hard Now. Rather Than Nag Him About That “Quality Time” Encourage Him To Be Productive & Constructive.
Weirdly, Nagging Him About Free Time Seems To Mean That You Don’t Want Him Around For Long, If Not, Wouldn’t You Want Him To Go Out & Get It To Secure Your Future As A Couple? To Nag About The Present Would Mean “Fool You Ain’t Goin’ Last That Long Let’s Have Fun NOW”
Infamous Quotes Such As “If You Really Love Someone You’ll Make Time” Is FALSE. Men Want To Spend All The Time In The WorlLaid Up Or Hanging Out But Sadly It’s Unreal.
5. Be A Mystery NOT Mixxy
A Female Should Be Like A Ancient Myth Or Urban Legend.
“Sometime Seen On The Scene But Never Guaranteed To Be There.”
Nobody Should Be Able To Determine Your Going To Be Somewhere. A Dude Is Usually On The Scene For Two Reasons, Making S*it Happen Or Watching Sh*t Happen.
Ain’t Nothing Worst Than A Female That’s Always On The Scene With No Purpose, A Man However Will Always Be A lot Of Places With No Purpose, It’s Possibly A Double Standard We’re Just Going To Have To Accept.
6. Be A Non-Over Thinker
The Most Common Mistake By All Women (& Most Men) Is Over Thought. The Minute You Over Think Yourself Is The Exact Moment You’ve Lost.
“You Must Think I’m Stupid” Is Possibly The Most Contradiction Of A Statement Ever Uttered By A Female. If You Assume Your Man Is Lying & You Hit Him With The “You Must Think I’m Stupid…” Yet He Doesn’t Confess To What You Think Is A Lie Which Might Be The Truth & You Stay With Him Doesn’t That Make You Stupid?
Women Will Forever Out Think, Out Logic & Ultimately Stress Out They Own Damn Self With Unrealistic Ways The Man Is Lying.
7. Build With Builders & Stop Looking For Buildings
Music & Movies Are The Strongest Shaper Of What We Believe We Want & Need. Females Hear These Glamour Lyrics Of Being With A Boss Never Understanding What A Real Boss Is Or Does. A Drug Dealer Is Not A Boss, A Rapper Is Not A Boss, A Ball Player Who Is Good Is Definitely Not A Boss Yet We Substitute Being A Boss With Having Money, Or The Illusion Of It.
Most Females Cannot & Will Not Ever Meet A Real Boss. Real Bosses Probably Wouldn’t Put Up With 95% Of The Antics Most Women Pull. He Def Is Not Built For the Drama Life Some Possess. To Be With A “Boss” It Takes Understanding, Sacrifice (See Warning Number 4) A Strong Will Of Knowing He Loves You & Support.
Women Want To Meet Dudes Who Already Possess Everything They Believe They Need In A Man. Years Ago The Leaders & Strong Minded Men Started Out With NOTHING & Built It Ground Up. You Think MLK Would Have Had A Dream If He Ain’t Have A Good Joint In His Corner? You Think Denzel Would Be As Dope As An Actor As He Is Had His Joint Nagged Him About His Crappy Pay In The Beginning Of His Career? Would Bob Johnson Be Where He Is If His Joint By-Passed Him & Went To Mess With A Dude Who Was Already Getting It?
Before You Leave Your “Ain’t Shit” Man Think About Him In 10 Years. Will He Still Be That Way? Or Would The Help From You & What You Two Will Build Be Strong Enough For Him To Turn It All Around?
8. Your Love Life Is NOT A Song
Every So Often A Song Drops Proclaiming The Love One Has For Another. R&B Singers Become Breathless, Sleepless & Seem To Possess Super Human Powers By Moving The Stars, Clouds & Mountains To Get To Their Lover
The Problem With These Songs Of Impossible Feats Is Some Women Compare Them To Their Life Forgetting & Ignoring It’s Entertainment Or The Other 12 Songs On The Album Based On “Oh Baby I’m Sorry” Songs. There Are Actually Women Who Strangely Believe These Songs & Not The Entertainment Aspect Of It. Singers Usually Have HORRIBLE Love Lives So Comparing Yours To Theirs Seems Beyond Pointless. No Man Is Going To Move The Stars & Heaven To Get To You. Do Not Side Eye Him Believing Cause He Doesn’t Say These Type Of Things He Doesn’t Love You.
9. Every Man DOES Not Want You
The Art Of Chivalry & Giving Compliments Have Been Back Seated By The Thirst Of Others Males. If A Man Gives You A Head Nod He Is Not MADLY In Love With You. Flirting Is A Weird Way To Feel Good About Yourself, It Actually Has Nothing To Do With The Other Person But Rather A Self Assurance Way To See If We’re On Point.
Women Who Believe Everyman Wants Them Will Never Ever Find A Man Who Really Does. They Date & Involve Themselves With Men For All The Wrong Reasons That Sound Like The Right Ones. A ‘Thirsty’ Man Will Throw A Compliment As Bait, If You Decide To Bite He Will Reel You In, Not Necessarily Wanting You But You Wanted Him So “Ahh Fuck It” He’s There.
Thirsty Men Love Women Who Think Everyman Wants Them. He Will Copy & Paste Beautiful Messages In Hopes Someone Takes It. Be Wary & Understand There Are Plenty Of Kind-Hearted Men Who Love To Compliment Women, But He Does Not Want You.
10. Chivalry Isn’t Dead It Just Isn’t Appreciated Anymore.
The Minute A Guy Offers A Simple Gesture Of Chivalry He’s Considered Lame Or Corny. Most Will Never Agree But The Art Of Chivalry Does Exist, It’s Alive & Well But It’s Hidden Like A Secret Society. Every Female Does Not Deserve Chivalry. Every Female Should Not Get A Chivalrous Act & Most Will Never Appreciate It.
What Most Women REALLY Want Is “Convenient” Chivalry, Only When It Works In Their Favor Is It Ever Noticed Or Appreciated. If A Man Opens The Door, Pulls Your Seat Out, Says Yes Ma’am To Waitress and/or Walks You To Your Door At The End Of The Night “SOME” Would Consider It Lame and/or Overkill. Those Same Woman May LOVE The Fact That He Pays For Everything, Thus, She Wants It Conveniently.
Women Have Grown So Used To The Thirst (See Warning Sign Number 9) That Everything A Man Does Seems Like A Scheme. (See Warning Sign Number 6)
Men Can No Longer Do Acts Of Chivalry Without It Seeming Like It’s Not Genuine. Chivalry Exist, It May Have Taken On Different Forms & Meaning But It Is Still Around.
Understand Being Lonely Is REAL. The One’s Who Proclaim Self Alliance To Themselves With NO Need For A Man Are The Most Confident Loneliest Women Around. We All Want Love & Us Men May Not Need Women & Most Women May Not Need Us But We’re Stuck With Each Other So STFU & Deal With It.
Ever been in a “relationship” and had sex with a friend in your head? Are you in an imaginary relationship with your opposite sex friend without them even aware you have feelings towards them? Does the thought of them with another upset you, yet your introduced as a bro/sis? If so you might be stuck in “The Friend Zone.”
Men and women view friendships extremely different. Most men stuck in the zone start a friendship ‘really’ wanting to sleep with you. Women, however, start off many friendships genuinely not wanting the guy but develop feelings over time because “he’s always been there.”
In the friend zone men want you from the start; women usually want you once you stop wanting them.
Opposite sex friendships can be mutual and they do exist. There are several friendships we have with the opposite sex that are genuine and despite how many people find them appealing we just can’t view them that way. The simple thought of them being naked is disgusting. It’s weird to even hear about them being sexy to another person.
But can the friend zone be escaped? Possibly, but over time your feelings either develop for that person, wanting them more and they become such apart of you that it may seem you’re actually with them or you’re around them so much that you settle for whatever title you can get.
Some men are just so lucky to be around they’ll accept the friend zone not necessarily wanting to be there but it puts them around you so they’ll be cool with it. Women will accept it to a degree but once their feelings are involved and she wants you she will fall back and not settle.
The friend zone has its benefits because some relationships are just better as friendships.
To Be Continued…
“A Diva Is A Female Version Of A Hustler…”
A diva is not the female definition of a hustler. Somehow pop culture has melted into our brain, influenced who we are, how we speak and think. Beyonce is not a hustler nor is she built for the grind. Songs are made to be catchy but females most often get the game mixed up, fucked up and messed up. No matter how hard I recite the lyrics or mirror his lifestyle I am not Jay-z, I can never be Kanye or any other innovating artist. I could never be him & he can never be me. You are not Beyonce, if he likes it he will not put a ring on it, you do not love or like his ego because soon as it’s displayed you hate him.
Beyonce lives a completely different life from you and me. Whether we choose to agree or not money & the comfort of a future makes loving anyone easier, the number one cause of marital arguments are finances (Not An Opinion But A Fact.) Do not believe Beyonce Knowles & Sean Carter would be “crazy in love” if they were regular folk, happiness with love will always be there but the spotlight of their success just happens to work for them. Stop comparing you & your boo who work as a security guard to Jay & Bey, that is not our life, you will not be spiked out at the garden, TMZ is not in your driveway & you two are not approving million dollar deals from the iPhone.
Pop culture & the hopes of another anthem dropping holds a strong influence on our relationships with the opposite sex, we can choose to agree to disagree, but we all know people who are easily influenced by pop figures. How can pop culture influence how we go about being in love? Females, as well as, males, are sometimes influenced by what’s hot & who’s saying it.
Keep believing what Bey and them be saying and you goin’ be saying it to no one. Stop Comparing Your Love To Their Love. It Will Not Work.