BATTLE OF THE SEXES “The Prequel” (The Friend Zone)

Ever been in a “relationship” and had sex with a friend in your head? Are you in an imaginary relationship with your opposite sex friend without them even aware you have feelings towards them? Does the thought of them with another upset you, yet your introduced as a bro/sis? If so you might be stuck in “The Friend Zone.”

Men and women view friendships extremely different. Most men stuck in the zone start a friendship ‘really’ wanting to sleep with you. Women, however, start off many friendships genuinely not wanting the guy but develop feelings over time because “he’s always been there.”

In the friend zone men want you from the start; women usually want you once you stop wanting them.

Opposite sex friendships can be mutual and they do exist. There are several friendships we have with the opposite sex that are genuine and despite how many people find them appealing we just can’t view them that way. The simple thought of them being naked is disgusting. It’s weird to even hear about them being sexy to another person.

But can the friend zone be escaped? Possibly, but over time your feelings either develop for that person, wanting them more and they become such apart of you that it may seem you’re actually with them or you’re around them so much that you settle for whatever title you can get.

Some men are just so lucky to be around they’ll accept the friend zone not necessarily wanting to be there but it puts them around you so they’ll be cool with it. Women will accept it to a degree but once their feelings are involved and she wants you she will fall back and not settle.

The friend zone has its benefits because some relationships are just better as friendships.

To Be Continued…

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES “The Prequel” [Pop Culture Edition] (The Beyonce Syndrome)

“A Diva Is A Female Version Of A Hustler…”
-Beyonce “Diva”

A diva is not the female definition of a hustler. Somehow pop culture has melted into our brain, influenced who we are, how we speak and think. Beyonce is not a hustler nor is she built for the grind. Songs are made to be catchy but females most often get the game mixed up, fucked up and messed up. No matter how hard I recite the lyrics or mirror his lifestyle I am not Jay-z, I can never be Kanye or any other innovating artist. I could never be him & he can never be me. You are not Beyonce, if he likes it he will not put a ring on it, you do not love or like his ego because soon as it’s displayed you hate him.

Beyonce lives a completely different life from you and me. Whether we choose to agree or not money & the comfort of a future makes loving anyone easier, the number one cause of marital arguments are finances (Not An Opinion But A Fact.) Do not believe Beyonce Knowles & Sean Carter would be “crazy in love” if they were regular folk, happiness with love will always be there but the spotlight of their success just happens to work for them. Stop comparing you & your boo who work as a security guard to Jay & Bey, that is not our life, you will not be spiked out at the garden, TMZ is not in your driveway & you two are not approving million dollar deals from the iPhone.

Pop culture & the hopes of another anthem dropping holds a strong influence on our relationships with the opposite sex, we can choose to agree to disagree, but we all know people who are easily influenced by pop figures. How can pop culture influence how we go about being in love? Females, as well as, males, are sometimes influenced by what’s hot & who’s saying it.

Keep believing what Bey and them be saying and you goin’ be saying it to no one. Stop Comparing Your Love To Their Love. It Will Not Work.

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES “The Prequel” (The Search for Love)

I wanna be in Love; I want it so bad that it makes me jealous to see other people in love. I don’t understand why can’t it happen to me? Do I really have that many flaws? Why can’t my lover see all the great things the rest of the world seems to see? Questions, concerns & a doubt of self is what motivate us to search for love. We all set our life up to what we want & need but what do we truly need? To understand love shouldn’t we understand ourself? Surprisingly many of us do not understand our self, we pretend that it’s everyone else when in fact it may be you. If 3 relationships end the same, or in a similar way, at what point does everyone else stop being the problem & the problem just becoming you?

We create false reasoning & excuses to why it didn’t work with the person to justify our own actions. We all have our attributes we would want in a mate, but when is it alright to alter those things? It’s alright to make exceptions for exceptional people. Many of us leave one bad relationship to a good one & can’t handle it. We become so use to things being wrong that nothing can be right, we doom our own search for love by sabotages romantic motives.

What do you look for in a lover? Is it money? Success? Educated? Whatever it is what are you willing to give up or let go to get him/her? If you want a goal orientated, educated, successful person but was once married, now divorced, would you take that? We have to pick & choose what we’re willing to be loose with.

You are never going to find someone with everything you want. NEVER. So love who your with, help them become who you want to love or find someone as close as to who you want to love but remember love has perfect imperfection, don’t let the imperfect flaws stop your search for your perfect love.

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES “The Prequel” (The “I’m not BUSY I’m Working” Edition)

“She loves her work more than she loves me….”
-Jay-z “Lost Ones”

How do you spell love? The spelling of love has never started with a “L.” The word love actually has nothing to do with emotions. Love is & will always be spelled T-I-M-E. In order to hold healthy relationships we need that time together, as well as apart. Spending every moment together is unhealthy; not spending enough time at all is unreal! So what is the medium? We are in a bad economical state, so if a mate is on the grind to secure his/her future should we get mad? Shouldn’t the state of the country obligate you to encourage your lover to go out & get it rather than questioning their work ethics?

Time & love makes us question what we want in a mate. Females usually want time to constitute love while males rather understanding, both wanting support and/or encouragement to go out & get it. We are all motivated people only different by what & how much support we need to get motivated.

Once being in Love with him/her starts to feels like a job it is time to get out, talk about it or move on. Females see the present with the future in mind while males think about the future to make sense of the present, confused? Females are more concerned to build in the presence to secure a future, while males work hard towards the future so that hard work in the presence can be justified in the future. Depending on the couple this can be vice versa. Both males & females want the same end result just both respectively use different methods to get there. If we’re taking a trip does it matter what car and/or road we use to get there or just getting there?

There is a huge difference between working & being busy, don’t confuse the two! Working is most often an obligation, something you signed up for while being busy or keeping busy is a tool used for motivation for some. Being busy sometime simply means keeping your self occupied while working is something to secure your future and/or provide for the life you choose to lead! You can be “busy” working which means your trying to get a lot accomplished within that day of work.

Love could be so simple but yet we make it so hard. No one wants to grind/work all the time but we must push forward to secure our future. How many people do we all know that didn’t reach their full potential in life because of love or the facade of it? Held back by a lover & the obligation forced upon them to do this & that.

The two can & do co-exist. But what are any of us willing to let go for it to work?

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES “The Prequel” (The Right Side of Your Brain)

“…Fell in love with a real heartbreaker & there is nothing I can do,to shake her”
-Dream “Right Side of your Brain”

The back & fourth effect, make up break up, hate, love, here, there we’re everything! The confusion of love is so complicated and we love someone so much that we lose our self; your love has such a hold on you that you wish they’d just break it off! They hold every key to your heart, your soul, your emotions & you’re very well being! What’s interesting about this stage of a troubled relationship is the person who ultimately controls the outcome never knows they control it. In order to love we must first be happy with our self & many of us aren’t.

Ever love someone so much it hurts? Feels as if their just pulling you along for either amusement? Convenience? Or maybe some love but not as strong as yours! The problem with love is that after all it is still an emotion so one person can technically love harder than the other. I know its hard to shallow that concept but love is not a two way street nor is it a one way, its a intersection, coming & going just like a busy street. Your Love for someone goes up & down, weak & strong.

“You Love Me Baby, Unlove me Baby… Let me be! Set me free. You’re near me baby but not near me baby”
-Dream “Right Side of your brain”

The problems with love is do we ever fall out of love? It’s very easy to fool ourself that we can do without him/her only to be back but when does it end? Every look at him/her & knew it was over? Only to lay right down next to them the next day? Its extremely hard to admit that your not ready for love but when we aren’t we still force it. Not everyone is relationship ready or commitment built, so be real.

Rather than living for love let it be known what you’re really expecting. Love is not part time or is it full time; it’s a full blown CAREER.

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES VOL.7 (Eternally Single)

It’s not a secret men & women are from two different planets, lack of communication and understanding for one another conclude to the same results time and time again. Ever feel like love & happiness (Thanks Al Green) just isn’t for you? Like maybe you were meant to be alone forever? We all know the people highest up got the lowest self esteem and most times those pretty & perfect people are the eternally single people. Bad egos and an unwillingness to change because they are among the pretty bunch.

Usually successful females are single; most men can’t handle a female with goals and ambition, so they must play the role of a forced lesbian, not really liking girls but just not fit or “over qualified” to deal with a guy. Men who are forever single are dudes who can not commit to just one, rather than love they search for lust, after a while that gets old, ALL females, shy, out-going, hoe, jump-off, whatever want to one day settle down, the only thing that keep some eternally alone is themselves.

“Logically more than Emotionally” settling down should be a life goal for all, and we all loss focus of that and leave our “80 for a 20,” leading females to believe that it was something wrong with the male when in fact in love we all need to change and compromise. Many men believe that hitting the “Bottom of the pussy hole” is what will keep a female when in fact it isn’t. No one is perfect and it’s only those “Perfect Imperfections” that make love worth the fight. Sometimes you must look in the mirror and ask “Should he really put a ring on it.” Love is hard and when the time is right its beautiful, when it isn’t we force ourselves to believe it is and get caught in a “Love Lockdown.”

Choose your “Battles” wisely.

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES VOL.6 (Love Lockdown)

*Originally Written August 7, 2008

I’m not loving you, way I wanted too, what I had to do, had to run from you…I’m in love with you! But the vibe is wrong”
-Love Lockdown “Kanye West”

Why do we continue with relationships that are headed in the wrong direction, we try to convince our self that it’s “just me” when in reality it’s just that bad ass relationship. Bad relationship mixed with heavy emotion and a feeling of this has to work are a beautiful mix of a horrible situation.

Love is hard and a continuing work in progress, but should it feel like work?

Both Males & Females may want a relationship to work but why does it feel like we’re continuing to work against each other rather than with each other? It’s ironic, we want so much but are willing to give back so little? If your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t react positively to how you are handling any given circumstance why continue to do it? The nagging, the jealously, the back and fourth, is it really that much to let that part of our self go that we doom our own relationship?

“I wanna move but can’t escape from you”
-Love Lockdown “Kanye West”

Most bad relationships do require some type of emotional connection, it may not be that we are bad people but some personalities do not go together. How obvious does it have to be? Some couples can’t even hold a civil convo without a blowup. What has to happen for us to move on?

“I can’t keep myself and still keep you too”
-Love Lockdown “Kanye West”

We lose ourselves in bad relationships, we become forced to act out of character which leads us to perform random acts of clownishness. Is it possibly to stay yourself and continue in a relationship that forces us to change who we are? Bad relationships cause us to become another person who we are not. We lose our self in the distorted image of what that person wants us to be. Males & females both fall victim to this so what has to happen to not be the victim? Love can lock you down and have you believe that your a horrible person for feeling what your feeling but is it that? Or is it that the other person cannot handle hearing your feelings? What are we to do with & without love? YES. I know. confusing aint it!?!?

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES VOL.5 (Perfect Imperfections)

What is being perfect? Does it even exist? Can you put a face or voice to it? How can we define something so specific when we all have different views, tastes, lifestyles, sexualities, incomes, interest, wants, and beliefs? Are you perfect? Are you able to look at your significant other and say you are perfect?

Men & Women view perfection on different levels; looks, education, income and sometimes even religion all these things are different variations of what we define as perfection.

We would love to meet someone with every criteria checked off on our personal significant other checklist, but would your own view of perfection truly make you happy? The beauty of love is learning & growing.

What’s the purpose of falling if love was so perfect; the joy of love and perfection is falling. Love is hard; it is a work in progress.

Love is a strong commitment, it last a lifetime & can not be tainted nor faded, time does not substitute love, some stories aren’t epic novels, that doesn’t make them filled with love. Perfection weakens love; it isn’t until we get what we thought we wanted to realize what we had.”

The perfect thing about love is imperfections, those differences of qualities that we each possess, it makes getting to know a person worth it and it’s what makes us human, perfect imperfections.

Going in and out of relationships taints our view on what perfect really is! Does it not? No? Yes! Time most often substitutes for love, leading us to believe that our previous was better than our current. We get so accustomed to having things done this way that “this way” becomes the right way. With every relationship we need to unlearn those habits, if we became so use to how things were in our previous relationship does that make how it was right? And if so why didn’t we stay? Should we continue to hold onto those old ways of an ex-lover?

Loving someone is just that, loving them. When you love someone you love them for “them not for this and that, if we were able to pick and choose attributes of what we want our lover to possess would we love them the same? Is it not the way they are that made us fall for them, words are dangerous and it ruins relationships, so choose what you say wisely because you can make a ass out of yourself by assuming, but what other feelings are we to possess if we can’t assume?

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES VOL.4 (The Bottom Of The Pu**y Hole)

“The Man That Is Living To ejaculate he’s in a predator mode…he will look for the weakness in a women, a women who is lonely….don’t let EVERYMAN hit the bottom of your vagina, the root of your vagina”
-Alexyss Tylor “Bottom of the Pu**y Hole”

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What Is Love? Is Love Great communication? Is it admiring someone for their goals & accomplishments? Or is it simply great sex? That kind of sexual adventure that’ll have you twisting & bending in ways you thought unimaginable. Sex clouds the direction of a relationship, done too early could lead to good or bad things, done too late could turn a person off

The only thing certain in life is uncertainty; its unpredictable outcome is what makes love worth chasing. Males and females chase it very differently most often ending up in the same place. Sex often substitutes happiness, the better the sex the harder the love. Really? Yes. Think about it.

To hit “the bottom of the pu**y hole” is to truly satisfy a female, luckily for females and unfortunate at the same time it doesn’t take much to satisfy a male, guys are often too self indulgent to take the time to truly satisfy a female sexually, once a female gets that bottom hitter they are riding with him to the end. The end being whatever her limit of shit she’s willing to do to keep that guy, most females differ from guys in the number of sexual partners there willing to have in their lifetime and they’ll ride out even with a partner who is clueless in the bedroom. Why? Because female are settlers while men remain predators.

Females are honestly looking for love and it’s sad that many don’t find it, love and sex gets tangled far too often and great sex replaces genuine love…

“…don’t let EVERYMAN hit the bottom of your vagina, the root of your vagina”

Females try to choose relationships wisely, but in all actuality ALL relationships remain the same with the only noticeable changes occurring is personalities and the understanding of each other, every relationship is suppose to be a fresh start but both males and females bring in past problems, failures and heartbreaks into that new love. How can we love if we never forget, when do we stop giving our all to everyone we love? Should that even be a question? How can we start new if love remains the same?

How can a female not give her all every time out if their looking to settle? So how can she not allow everyman she’s in a committed relationship with to hit the bottom? Sometimes its inevitable, women need to learn to deal with their attachments and separate the love, the orgasm and the penis. In Love, sex & relationships we all, both males & females become sexually & emotionally attached, try to play cool fellas and let me know how u feel when she head for the door…

Males lack that “mind sex.” To truly love someone is more than just taking it down, really get to know a person, their likes, dislikes and it’ll make the sex that much better.

By K.E.L.L.s

BATTLE OF THE SEXES VOL.3 (Should He Really Put a Ring On It?)

All My Single Ladies. All My Single Ladies. Yea Yea we all Know the routine, we all know that if he liked it he should of put a ring on it and perhaps he is tight that somebody else got it, but let’s be real not every song plays to your favor, once again we have a anthem that convinces every female that they are worthy of something that most aren’t.

Most females truly believe they are a total packaged deal & ready to be snatched off the shelf with no assembly required.

In our society it is more acceptable for a female to have less checked off our lives to-do list, while a male must have a purpose, a list of goals, in most cases a car, a place or even money.

Females aren’t to blame for this, most males aren’t at all concerned with what positive reflections of success a female has. We have simply put beauty ahead of longevity, so for him to put a ring on it shouldn’t you bring more to the table than just beauty? Females become complacent in life more easily than males. However, males always seem to get the short end of the stick.

Its not that he didn’t wanna put a ring on it but certain things must be in place before a man feels confortable to pop that question, ironically, in life all those things will never be in place at the same time, so its up to you to determine when is right, that does not mean putting a time limit on your relationship. Some relationships stand no grounds for marriage & it’s pretty obvious when it won’t work.

So before dropping down low & sweeping the floor with it, then turn & ask why he didn’t put a ring on it? Take a look in the mirror & ask yourself am I marriage worthy? There is no such thing as perfection but we have to find what we consider to be closest thing to it and love it, at the same time we have to have self growth for someone to want to put it on that finger.

So should he really put a ring on it?

By K.E.L.L.s